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[Intro] D C#m Bm C#m D C#m Bm D C#m Bm C#m D C#m E [Verse 1] D C#m Bm C#m Uh well, I touched down en route to my connection D C#m Bm A A man in the gift shop called me a fag D C#m Bm C#m I feel like my tucked-up erection D C#m E There's a pressure all over my head D C#m Bm C#m And I know this is how I get paid, but D C#m Bm It's not really how I wanna get laid, so D C#m Bm C#m Hundred forty when I last got weighed D C#m Bm C#m And I'm gonna lose more by Saturday [Chorus] Bm7 And they're playing your song on the radio station C#m E Mugging me off all across the nation Bm7 If you don't eat then you'll never grow D E I should've learned that quite a while ago Bm7 I know it gets hard sometimes D E Making out with people that you don't like Bm7 I know you don't feel alright D E But you look just fine to me [Verse 2] D C#m Bm7 C#m Well, I pissed myself on the Texan intersection D Bm7 A With George spilling things all over his bag D C#m Bm7 C#m And I took shit for being quiet during the election D C#m E Maybe that's fair, but I'm a busy guy D C#m Bm7 C#m I get stoned and go where I get paid, but D C#m Bm7 A It's not really how babies get made, so D C#m Bm7 C#m I'll take a minute when I think I won't die D C#m C#m A from stopping, oh, I'm just a busy guy [Chorus] Bm7 And they're playing your song on the radio station C#m E Mugging me off all across the nation Bm7 If you don't eat then you'll never grow D E I should've learned that quite a while ago Bm7 I know it gets hard sometimes D E Making out with people that you don't like Bm7 I know you don't feel alright D E But you look just fine to me [Bridge] F#m G#m A E D E F#m G#m A E D You, I've been waiting for you E F#m G#m A E D My whole life, waiting for you E F#m G#m A E D I've been waiting for you [Outro] D C#m Bm7 C#m Well, I'm gonna get a condom, but it's for her protection D C#m Bm7 A And maybe I'll get some fun for the night D C#m Bm7 C#m D C#m Bm7 E